.Publisher's Note: The observing is actually the text of a character coming from Trip Three Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Resigned), reassessing the occasions of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't composed significantly concerning specifics of this mission throughout the month I have actually been actually below, generally for 2 explanations: the first being actually that there has actually been very little opportunity to do that type of creating, and also furthermore, given that I'm not exactly sure exactly how comfortable I am discussing ideas I provide family and friends along with the remainder of the world.Properly, definitely the world transformed today. What I say or do is incredibly minor compared to the significance of what occurred to our nation today when it was actually assaulted through ... through whom? Terrorists is actually all we know, I suspect. Tough to know at whom to point our anger and also anxiety ...I had actually just completed an amount of duties today, the most time-consuming being the physical exams of all crew members. In a personal discussion adhering to that, the air travel doctor told me they were actually having an extremely poor time on the ground. I possessed no tip ...He defined the scenario to me as greatest he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually stunned, after that horrified. My first thought was that this had not been a true talk, that I was still paying attention to one of my Tom Clancy strips. It simply didn't appear possible on this incrustation in our nation. I could not even picture the particulars, even before the news of further damage started coming in.Vladimir came over pretty quickly, noticing that something very serious was being actually explained. I swayed Michael right into the module as well. They were additionally surprised and stunned. After we signed off, I tried to describe to Vladimir as well as Michael as greatest I might the potential enormity of this particular show of fear in midtown New york and at the Government. They precisely understood and also were quite thoughtful.I glanced at the Planet Chart on the pc to observe where over the globe our company were as well as noticed that our experts were actually coming southeast out of Canada as well as would certainly be passing over New England in a handful of minutes. I whized around the station until I located a home window that will give me a sight of New York City and also snatched the local camera. It happened to become a video camera, as well as I was actually appearing southern from the home window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke seemed to be to possess an odd flower to it at the bottom of the column that was actually streaming south of the urban area. After reading one of the newspaper article our company just got, I think our experts were looking at NY around the amount of time of, or shortly after, the failure of the second high rise. Exactly how horrible ...I swung the camera all along the East Shoreline to the south to find if I could possibly see some other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or even anywhere else, however nothing was visible.It was pretty complicated to consider job after that, though our team possessed some to accomplish, but on the next orbit our experts went across the US more south. All three people were actually functioning one or two cameras to try to receive views of New york city or Washington. There was haze over Washington, however no certain resource can be viewed. All of it looked astonishing from 2 to 3 hundred kilometers away. I can't visualize the unfortunate settings on the ground.Besides the emotional effect of our nation being actually dealt with as well as countless our citizens as well as possibly some close friends being killed, one of the most difficult emotion being where I am is one of isolation.Next time ... I suppose the fatigue as well as emotional stress got the greatest of me. I couldn't stay awake and also continue to write. Today was actually still hard, however our team started receiving more information, plus our experts had the tribute of talking directly along with the Facility Supervisor, Roy Estess, that guaranteed our team that the ground groups will continue to function and guarantee our safety, along with the secure function of the Station. Our team additionally talked to our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, who incorporated that the companions in the Course are all totally devoted to carrying on secure operations and help. These were actually never ever concerns for me. I recognize all these people! The ground groups have been actually extremely helpful, incredibly understanding of the impact of the information, and have actually made an effort to become as useful as achievable. They have actually all been very professional as well as concentrated though I can not visualize the distraction of this particular form of news coming in and also the thought and feelings that authorities buildings might be in jeopardy. They certainly never missed a beat, even when relocating control centers. And also a group of senior staffs and also close friends provided our team a pretty thorough instruction about what was known as well as what was being actually done in the authorities and also at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was actually really helpful as well as sort of all of them to perform in the midst of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has actually likewise been actually encouraging and also beneficial, trying to uplink newspaper article when our personal resources were unusable, as well as pointing out kind terms ...My crewmates have actually been excellent, as well. They understand it is actually been a tough day for me and also the people on the ground, as well as they've tried to become as even keeled and useful as achievable. Michael even fixed me my beloved Borscht soup for supper. And also they provide me a lot of area to think when I required it. They are incredibly sympathetic as well as of course shocked at whoever would certainly do this.I understand a lot of folks in Washington, a lot of folks who take a trip to DC and NYC, numerous who are actually aviators, that I felt sure I would certainly get at least a couple of items of problem over the upcoming couple of times. I acquired the very first one today when I found out that the Leader of the American Airlines jet that reached the Government was Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I encountered Chic during cadet summer season when our experts were in the D&B with each other, and also our experts had tons of classes together. I can not envision what he must of undergone, and also currently I listen to that he might possess increased better than our company can even think of by potentially stopping his airplane from being actually the one to tackle the White Property. What a horrible loss, yet I ensure Chic was actually combating fearlessly throughout. As well as splits don't stream the very same in space ...It is actually complicated to illustrate how it experiences to be the only American fully off the world at a time like this. The emotion that I should exist along with each of you, managing this, helping somehow, is actually difficult. I understand that our company get on the limit (or even past) of a dreadful switch in the background of the globe. A lot of things will never ever coincide once again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not only for the thousands and countless folks directly affected through these horrendous actions of terrorism, but most likely for all of us. Our team will discover our own selves experiencing differently regarding loads of factors, consisting of possibly room exploration, sadly.It's horrendous to see smoke cigarettes pouring coming from injuries in your own country coming from such a superb vantage point. The dichotomy of getting on a space capsule committed to improving everyday life on the planet and watching lifestyle being ruined through such willful, horrendous actions is jolting to the mind, regardless of that you are actually. As well as the knowledge that everything will be various than when we introduced by the opportunity our team land is actually a little disconcerting. I believe in our nation and in our management that we are going to do every little thing possible to much better defend her and our family members, and also to take compensation of what has actually been carried out. I possess self-confidence that the good people at NASA will perform everything necessary to proceed our goal properly and also return our team safely at the right time. And also I miss every one of you significantly. I can't be there along with you in person, as well as our company possess a long way to head to complete our objective, however be actually particular that my soul is along with you, as well as recognize you are in my petitions.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the final letter ... Thankfully, it's been actually a hectic week up listed here. As well as to confirm that, like our country, our team are advancing our intended course along with company customarily (as much as feasible). Tonight the most up to date add-on to the place, the Russian Docking Area will certainly be actually released from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday evening (US opportunity), it will certainly dock along with our team, at a slot never ever made use of just before on the nadir side of the Company Module. This new component will certainly provide our team yet another area to dock a Progression or Soyuz and are going to give a sizable airlock with two able to be used hatches for performing EVA's in Russian Orlan suits, which we will carry out a few of just before our team get back.The trouble before in handling this week was inadequate information. The problem today is actually excessive. It arrived simultaneously when e-mail was restored, and there is actually inadequate time to read all of it! Plus it's as well challenging to take care of all of it immediately. Yet I cherish obtaining it, and also I definitely enjoy the fantastic characters of help and friendship I am actually receiving.Our team are flourishing on board, obtaining our work carried out, as well as speaking about traits. Last evening we possessed a long conversation over supper regarding the value of these activities, the achievable actions to follow, and what ought to be carried out. After dinner, Michael made a point of telling me that every e-mail he acquired coming from friends in Russia mentioned exclusively to inform me how regretful they were actually that this happened, extending their acknowledgements, as well as talking to just how I was carrying out. Vladimir taught me the Russian phrase for "acknowledgements" after speaking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Superstar City. (Both the Russian and the English terms are actually much too lengthy to pronounce conveniently.) Incredibly kind folks.For the last 2 times, the Russian MCC has actually been good enough to send online shows of broadcast news about the event and associated stories, to make certain I was actually properly informed. Every professional who has actually begun free throw line to cover a method or a trouble has at some factor expanded hellos to me with kind phrases. Tonight the Russian capcom told us that because of the special day of recognition in the United States, all day people had actually been actually delivering blossoms and edging all the wall structures of the US embassy in Moscow, as well as this night they were igniting candles in the road outside the embassy. Exactly how the globe has actually transformed.People all over seem to recognize the senselessness as well as scary in this particular strike. And the tremendous reduction. Moscow has handled these type of complications in the final couple of years along with condo as well as train battles, so they are actually as restless to get rid of this hazard as our experts are actually. Yet all-time low collection is that there are actually great folks everywhere who wish to stay in tranquility. I review that a youngster talked to, "United States is so great to various other countries, we constantly assist everyone, how can they detest our company so much?".I hope the instance of cooperation and also trust that this space capsule plus all individuals in the system demonstrate daily are going to someday influence the rest of the planet to operate the same way. They must!Regrettably, our experts will not be actually taking flight over the United States during the time individuals are actually igniting candles. Do not understand if we might find that anyhow. Our company performed, nevertheless, view an extremely unique as well as attractive sight a handful of mins ago: the launch of our Docking Area on a Soyuz enhancer. Our experts were overtaking it as well as it appeared concerning 3 moments after its launch coming from Baikonur as the sunlight hit our terminal, so it was actually still at night. It resembled a huge comet along with a right, wide tail silhouetted against the dark planet underneath. Even with some poor lighting fixtures for some time as the sunshine attacked our window at a reduced angle, I took care of some online video of it as first our company passed the rocket, and then saw it begin to catch up as it got elevation and also speed. I recorded until principal engine deadline and enhancer splitting up happened equally our company came close to dawn on the Mountain ranges. A memorable attraction in an unforgettable full week ...Lifestyle happens, even precede. We're below to keep ... Frank.